Beautiful work Ali. You retell such history with such insight and passion. Interesting idea to look at fallowing.
I love your mindful acceptance of femininity. Atwood and you are synchronised here; Allowing ourselves to fallow. Yes. Sounds more accepting. (Menopause is not a pretty word. )
You are right it’s about giving ourselves permission to change gear. I’m happy you got through it.
Your story made me think of going out dancing and that moment when the DJ changes the song and our feet want to catch the new beat, there’s a puzzled bridging between the two, but then we adapt to the new one and forget the old one. I think of our hormones dancing to the new rhythm.
That change of rythm analogy is lovely, and very apt... I like it! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, I really appreciate it, Pipp. Wishing you a lovely day 💕
Glad you think so. I wondered if it sounded ok but couldn’t find it. As for my words ‘got through it’s I think it’s about ‘getting through it’… it takes years!
Do we ever really get through it though? My mum was still getting hot flushes into her 70s. Now she's had 2 strokes and her brain has not fully rewired itself, I don't know if they have stopped or not. Then I read about women who say after x years their hormones flatlined and they are ok, but how can that be ok? My sister says she is through it, but she doesn't sleep, and she still has regular fallow periods. It's all so complicated! I'm not asking you for the answers, btw, it's all rhetorical! 😂
Oh Ali, I loved this post and the idea of fallow periods. I’ve been so worried about my low mood and depression recently which hasn’t shifted as it might usually do and I’ve found myself ‘resisting’ it and realised that was exactly what I shouldn’t be doing. in the last few days I’ve tried to lean into it and it’s felt easier. Thank you for this post.
Hi Alison, lovely to meet you, thank you so much for subscribing.
I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with this, but you're not alone. I think its far more common than we realise. But when peri and menopause are talked about, it's more often in connection with physical symptoms, like hot flushes and loss of libido, than the the mental and emotional fluctuations, and yet I find this aspect most debilitating of all. Like you, I'm trying to lean into it and go with the flow. It makes me feel like I have withdrawn from the world around me, and I admit I don't like that, but maybe it's an essential part of the process of re-knowing ourselves. Like a kind of meditation, I suppose. How can we do that work if we are focused elsewhere? For must of us, time has drawn our children, if we have them, into adulthood, so nature has given us the time to pause and withdraw and reflect, and yet we fight it. That's because in a society founded on productivity, you have to keep producing, ie work or reproducing, ie babies. A person's value is based on it. Well, I'm not fighting it anymore, and it sounds like you're not either. Let's give ourselves the time to explore what this enormous change means. We need the time to adapt. And maybe these fallow periods are part of that, as uncomfortable as they are.
But also, we need to be aware that it is a type of depression, and seek professional help if it's needed. I started HRT in May, because I felt I couldn't go on the way I was. I will be honest and say that with a bit of trial and error, it has only now relieved my physical symptoms, but the low mood, brain fog and forgetfulness is just the same as it was when I started. But maybe, without the hassle of the physical symptoms, the depression is a bit easier to cope with.
I hope that you are doing OK. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to write a comment. You have certainly made me feel that I am not alone on this journey. 💕
It’s lovely to get your message and be connected on here about these things. I think one of the difficulties about depression and low mood is that it makes you want to isolate and that’s one of the worst things about it when you know, instinctively that connection is really important. for me isolation is even more scary because I’m sober, five years in January, and I know that it’s dangerous when I start to isolate, and it scares me still, and that I may think at these times that having a drink might be a good idea, when I absolutely know that it won’t and I would probably die if I drank alcohol again.
Three times this week I’ve heard or read about follow periods and that has helped me and I’m reading a book recommended by a body worker called The power of the downstate and it’s helpful to think in terms of cycles and that this is just a downward one, and hopefully there will be an upward period following this.
I’m so glad that you got help And are trying HRT. I remember it absolutely transforming my mother‘s life. I hit perimenopause quite early and was living in the states at the time and didn’t have easy access to HRT or else I would’ve probably tried it.
So lovely to be connected on here and look forward to talking more in the future.🌼💚🌼💚🌼
5 years sober, that's a lot of hard work and determination, well done. You are absolutely right, fallow periods don't last, they fade eventually, but they are just horrible to go through. I'm really sorry you didn't get the help and support when you went through your early menopause, sadly it's not the first time I've heard that. But there's no reason at all why you can't start HRT now, if you are still having symptoms, it can still help you, there's no upper age limit. If you are on Instagram, look up Dr Naomi Potter, and also the Menopause Doctor, and of course Davina McColl, and two ladies Wise+Well, they call themselves. You can get lots of information from them. Whatever you do, please don't feel alone. Download the Balance app, there are lots of women on there you can chat to all going through similar experiences, not all of them choosing HRT, and lots of info available there too. And there are other women writing about it here on Substack, did you see Layla's post this week?
Hi Mari... thanks for reading! I think the fallow periods are going to be around for a while! I'm reading your newsletters with great interest, I'm just not ready for it quite yet, I'm struggling to commit to anything right now! 😂
Ali such depth and texture - I could almost taste the fecundity of your fallow time as i read. My belly softened, my lips turned up into a Buddha smile and i felt nourished by your wild fallowing this Summer. Thank you thank you thank you. 🙏🏻 Bean Feasa. 🔥🍁🔥
How I love this idea of fallowing! This is exactly where I've been in the past few weeks, clearing space to start anew, in good time, and remembering why I started. And how I love the conversation between Mis and Dubh Ruis! "Never mind the harp. Do the trick again." 😂😂😂
Yes, I think it's important to clear space for starting anew. I think that's what fallowing is, it's a letting go and moving on, but we are wired resistant to it because it's taking us into the unknown. Certainly it's unknown territory for me, I have no experienced elder to guide me through. I hope all is well with you. Thanks for reading and commenting 💕
Thanks for sharing this with us Ali, fascinating reading and something we can probably all relate to at some point. Mad Sweeney came to my mind, and how he sought healing at holy wells by drinking the water and eating the watercress. A trip to a well always sorts me out! And as for your personal journey, I'm pretty sure you will emerge lighter and freer the other side.
Hi Amanda! I actually had written about Sweeney, but I took him out because the post was getting so long. What I loved about his story is that he composed poetry about all the places he stopped in and on the nature he observed there. I love holy wells, I always find them such places of peace, whether they are well-maintained and visited, or quiet lonely places off the beaten path. They all have their charms. Thanks for your encouraging words! 💕
wonderful post Ali - it is so powerful how you write about these fallow seasons, and how hard it is to sit in to them. I'm currently trying to titrate more fallow, more 'sitting in the dark' into my days, so easy to be pulled back into the fray. The stories you share are also so fascinating. Mis is one that has always caught my heart and imagination. This time reading it, I was struck by how tender and feminine the attention of the harper was for her. How he allowed her space and just offered her a container and support, he didn't try to fix her.... so much food for thought
Thanks Layla! I love Mis... every time I read her story, I unearth another layer, last time in terms of madness and how it is portrayed, this time it struck me more as depression. The harpist is lovely... he certainly knew how to push her buttons! I can imagine a community gathered around a storyteller, listening and laughing to all it's bawdy jokes and metaphors! I hope you get the chance to linger in your fallow periods and heal, life is so busy, even that can be hard to do at times. Also, I'm struck by the connectedness of our posts, and all around World Menopause Day, which I didn't even know about! 😂
Thank you for sharing this with us. Fallowing, indeed. It's good to know I'm not alone. Post-menopause is a new terrain for me and I'm so *in it* that I can't yet write about it, except to say, it is a massive initiation and doing it consciously is a big deal. Most well-meaning practitioners are pointing to taking pharmaceuticals as the way through. And some of us women want to follow a different calling through this passage. I'm striving to embrace the magic of this darker period, and right now that requires me going further inward and listening to the ancient ones within my heart.
Hi Erin, yes it really IS a big deal, I had no idea until it hit me like a sledgehammer just how big a deal it is! I don't think any of us do. It's 2024 and it's only starting to become a topic for discussion, and there's so much misinformation out there, and people trying to profiteer out of it, when all we want is to feel normal again! 😆 Whatever that might be. Not this, anyway. And definitely, you are not alone. I hope your following is a productive one. This dark part of the year seems a good time to focus inwards, right? Stay in touch. Blessings of the season to you!💕
Beautiful work Ali. You retell such history with such insight and passion. Interesting idea to look at fallowing.
I love your mindful acceptance of femininity. Atwood and you are synchronised here; Allowing ourselves to fallow. Yes. Sounds more accepting. (Menopause is not a pretty word. )
You are right it’s about giving ourselves permission to change gear. I’m happy you got through it.
Your story made me think of going out dancing and that moment when the DJ changes the song and our feet want to catch the new beat, there’s a puzzled bridging between the two, but then we adapt to the new one and forget the old one. I think of our hormones dancing to the new rhythm.
That change of rythm analogy is lovely, and very apt... I like it! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, I really appreciate it, Pipp. Wishing you a lovely day 💕
Glad you think so. I wondered if it sounded ok but couldn’t find it. As for my words ‘got through it’s I think it’s about ‘getting through it’… it takes years!
Do we ever really get through it though? My mum was still getting hot flushes into her 70s. Now she's had 2 strokes and her brain has not fully rewired itself, I don't know if they have stopped or not. Then I read about women who say after x years their hormones flatlined and they are ok, but how can that be ok? My sister says she is through it, but she doesn't sleep, and she still has regular fallow periods. It's all so complicated! I'm not asking you for the answers, btw, it's all rhetorical! 😂
Oh Ali, I loved this post and the idea of fallow periods. I’ve been so worried about my low mood and depression recently which hasn’t shifted as it might usually do and I’ve found myself ‘resisting’ it and realised that was exactly what I shouldn’t be doing. in the last few days I’ve tried to lean into it and it’s felt easier. Thank you for this post.
Hi Alison, lovely to meet you, thank you so much for subscribing.
I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with this, but you're not alone. I think its far more common than we realise. But when peri and menopause are talked about, it's more often in connection with physical symptoms, like hot flushes and loss of libido, than the the mental and emotional fluctuations, and yet I find this aspect most debilitating of all. Like you, I'm trying to lean into it and go with the flow. It makes me feel like I have withdrawn from the world around me, and I admit I don't like that, but maybe it's an essential part of the process of re-knowing ourselves. Like a kind of meditation, I suppose. How can we do that work if we are focused elsewhere? For must of us, time has drawn our children, if we have them, into adulthood, so nature has given us the time to pause and withdraw and reflect, and yet we fight it. That's because in a society founded on productivity, you have to keep producing, ie work or reproducing, ie babies. A person's value is based on it. Well, I'm not fighting it anymore, and it sounds like you're not either. Let's give ourselves the time to explore what this enormous change means. We need the time to adapt. And maybe these fallow periods are part of that, as uncomfortable as they are.
But also, we need to be aware that it is a type of depression, and seek professional help if it's needed. I started HRT in May, because I felt I couldn't go on the way I was. I will be honest and say that with a bit of trial and error, it has only now relieved my physical symptoms, but the low mood, brain fog and forgetfulness is just the same as it was when I started. But maybe, without the hassle of the physical symptoms, the depression is a bit easier to cope with.
I hope that you are doing OK. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to write a comment. You have certainly made me feel that I am not alone on this journey. 💕
Hi Ali
It’s lovely to get your message and be connected on here about these things. I think one of the difficulties about depression and low mood is that it makes you want to isolate and that’s one of the worst things about it when you know, instinctively that connection is really important. for me isolation is even more scary because I’m sober, five years in January, and I know that it’s dangerous when I start to isolate, and it scares me still, and that I may think at these times that having a drink might be a good idea, when I absolutely know that it won’t and I would probably die if I drank alcohol again.
Three times this week I’ve heard or read about follow periods and that has helped me and I’m reading a book recommended by a body worker called The power of the downstate and it’s helpful to think in terms of cycles and that this is just a downward one, and hopefully there will be an upward period following this.
I’m so glad that you got help And are trying HRT. I remember it absolutely transforming my mother‘s life. I hit perimenopause quite early and was living in the states at the time and didn’t have easy access to HRT or else I would’ve probably tried it.
So lovely to be connected on here and look forward to talking more in the future.🌼💚🌼💚🌼
5 years sober, that's a lot of hard work and determination, well done. You are absolutely right, fallow periods don't last, they fade eventually, but they are just horrible to go through. I'm really sorry you didn't get the help and support when you went through your early menopause, sadly it's not the first time I've heard that. But there's no reason at all why you can't start HRT now, if you are still having symptoms, it can still help you, there's no upper age limit. If you are on Instagram, look up Dr Naomi Potter, and also the Menopause Doctor, and of course Davina McColl, and two ladies Wise+Well, they call themselves. You can get lots of information from them. Whatever you do, please don't feel alone. Download the Balance app, there are lots of women on there you can chat to all going through similar experiences, not all of them choosing HRT, and lots of info available there too. And there are other women writing about it here on Substack, did you see Layla's post this week?
https://open.substack.com/pub/laylaomara/p/hrt-on-taking-it-and-being-cross?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1r6t90
And jump on HAG anytime and get involved in the comments and chat to other commenters as well as me.
Take care of yourself, Alison, and best wishes, and thanks for being here! 💕
Hi Mari... thanks for reading! I think the fallow periods are going to be around for a while! I'm reading your newsletters with great interest, I'm just not ready for it quite yet, I'm struggling to commit to anything right now! 😂
Ali such depth and texture - I could almost taste the fecundity of your fallow time as i read. My belly softened, my lips turned up into a Buddha smile and i felt nourished by your wild fallowing this Summer. Thank you thank you thank you. 🙏🏻 Bean Feasa. 🔥🍁🔥
How I love this idea of fallowing! This is exactly where I've been in the past few weeks, clearing space to start anew, in good time, and remembering why I started. And how I love the conversation between Mis and Dubh Ruis! "Never mind the harp. Do the trick again." 😂😂😂
Haha! It's such a cheeky little story, I love it!
Yes, I think it's important to clear space for starting anew. I think that's what fallowing is, it's a letting go and moving on, but we are wired resistant to it because it's taking us into the unknown. Certainly it's unknown territory for me, I have no experienced elder to guide me through. I hope all is well with you. Thanks for reading and commenting 💕
Thanks for sharing this with us Ali, fascinating reading and something we can probably all relate to at some point. Mad Sweeney came to my mind, and how he sought healing at holy wells by drinking the water and eating the watercress. A trip to a well always sorts me out! And as for your personal journey, I'm pretty sure you will emerge lighter and freer the other side.
Hi Amanda! I actually had written about Sweeney, but I took him out because the post was getting so long. What I loved about his story is that he composed poetry about all the places he stopped in and on the nature he observed there. I love holy wells, I always find them such places of peace, whether they are well-maintained and visited, or quiet lonely places off the beaten path. They all have their charms. Thanks for your encouraging words! 💕
wonderful post Ali - it is so powerful how you write about these fallow seasons, and how hard it is to sit in to them. I'm currently trying to titrate more fallow, more 'sitting in the dark' into my days, so easy to be pulled back into the fray. The stories you share are also so fascinating. Mis is one that has always caught my heart and imagination. This time reading it, I was struck by how tender and feminine the attention of the harper was for her. How he allowed her space and just offered her a container and support, he didn't try to fix her.... so much food for thought
Thanks Layla! I love Mis... every time I read her story, I unearth another layer, last time in terms of madness and how it is portrayed, this time it struck me more as depression. The harpist is lovely... he certainly knew how to push her buttons! I can imagine a community gathered around a storyteller, listening and laughing to all it's bawdy jokes and metaphors! I hope you get the chance to linger in your fallow periods and heal, life is so busy, even that can be hard to do at times. Also, I'm struck by the connectedness of our posts, and all around World Menopause Day, which I didn't even know about! 😂
Ali! I am *right there with you*.
Thank you for sharing this with us. Fallowing, indeed. It's good to know I'm not alone. Post-menopause is a new terrain for me and I'm so *in it* that I can't yet write about it, except to say, it is a massive initiation and doing it consciously is a big deal. Most well-meaning practitioners are pointing to taking pharmaceuticals as the way through. And some of us women want to follow a different calling through this passage. I'm striving to embrace the magic of this darker period, and right now that requires me going further inward and listening to the ancient ones within my heart.
Bless you. Happy autumn. I'm glad it's Changing Season. 🍂🍁🍂 I'm glad I'm not alone.
Not at all alone Erin
Hi Erin, yes it really IS a big deal, I had no idea until it hit me like a sledgehammer just how big a deal it is! I don't think any of us do. It's 2024 and it's only starting to become a topic for discussion, and there's so much misinformation out there, and people trying to profiteer out of it, when all we want is to feel normal again! 😆 Whatever that might be. Not this, anyway. And definitely, you are not alone. I hope your following is a productive one. This dark part of the year seems a good time to focus inwards, right? Stay in touch. Blessings of the season to you!💕
That was meant to be fallowing, not following... this phone thinks it knows better than me what I'm trying to say... sometimes it's right too! 😂