H A G-Wise 1: Welcome and Thankyou
Lessons from November and December; Dunamase Castle and the women who owned it; my journey into herbalism with meadowsweet; Cailleach's Circle; your story; first Gathering
Hi Hag-Friends!
Firstly, thank you all so much for trusting in me and supporting H A G… it really means so much to me. And also means I have some work to do. I feel some trepidation; I want you to get value from the work I am doing, and that’s a big responsibility. So please don’t feel shy about making suggestions if there’s something you’d like me to cover here. And please do get involved; I love to get comments and hear your stories. Sometimes, walking the path of the Cailleach Project can feel a bit lonely, and yet I know there are many women going through similar experiences. Modern lifestyle has outlawed and isolated us so that we have become invisible even to ourselves. We need community, and I hope H A G serves as a starting point for those of us looking for a more meaningful way to walk our elder years. Let’s get to know each other in this safe space, let’s be here for each other.
So… let’s get started. And I’m moving forward here by looking back. I launched H A G in January, but my journey actually began in November 2022, when I reached a kind of personal crisis point. I shared this story in my last newsletter, so I won’t repeat it. If you haven’t read November’s newsletter, which was my first ever H A G newsletter, you can read it here. I tried to claw back some control in my life by turning to the Cailleach, and she in turn directed me to the Mórrígan.
I realised I was afraid of the dark, but not just the darkness of night; I was afraid also of the darkness of winter, and my own inner darkness, the latter being the state of my own mental health. At that time, the effects of menopause made me feel like I was going crazy, my emotions were all over the place, and I was depressed one minute, anxious the next, and then euphoric before sliding back down again. As well, I was extremely forgetful, forgetting the end of my sentences, searching for key words that I knew I knew but where there was a blank in my brain. I was a real mess, and it was affecting my work at the museum as well as my personal life. With my own inner being sliding out of control as well as the dramatic physical changes taking over my body, my self-confidence, always a fickle thing at best, took a deep nose-dive. Something had to change, because I couldn’t bear being me anymore.
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